For years I lived an unhappy life. I blamed myself just about anything and other people around me not to respect me, understand me and care about me enough.
I had been a homestay mom a few years and in a short period of time, I had two babies. My first daughter born with difficult skin problems. She had extensive atopic skin (the whole body), she was allergic to everything and she had a hard sunburn disease – her skin burned if she was exposed 20 seconds to the sun, my life changed very much in a couple of years – when we couldn`t enjoy even outdoor life normally – especially in the summer.
When she was three years old my one-year-old son burn his hand on iron so badly that he had to go through 2 years of treatments – from skin transplant to aftercare and during this period of time my father also died of cancer.
I was lost.
I was 24 years old and I was tired of life and tired of being me. I thought the only thing that life had to offer me was struggle and pain.
I was a feeling worthless and loneliness and I also found many people to blame for it.
I thought people didn`t care and didn`t understand what I was going through.
It took me the next 10 years to put myself together. From the young girl who hit the rock bottom to dazzling and confident – who was able to feel loved and honored and felt grateful for everything about her life and who she had become.
It wasn`t a one big A-HA moment or the overnight success story – but it was a beginning of a journey that cannot be stopped. (and if you are on that journey right now you know it and I am telling you dear you will make it <3 ) From a realization to realization my life started to feel brighter and beautiful `cause I refused to give up and cause I was able to look in the mirror and ask questions and confront myself.
And the day came that I realize that I couldn`t blame anyone else than my self-feeling lonely or unloved. I couldn`t have had that `cause I wasn`t able to love and honored myself first.
When we are with people in any life situations we teach other people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. When you love, honor and respect yourself completely – there`s no room for other people to treat you in any other way.
When you are complaining to your man that he doesn`t value you or care about you enough – you are not really showing respect towards yourself in that situation. You are being quite annoying and that`s not anything you or anyone else can respect. To truly become loved and honored you quit the drama and you quit the role of being a victim for the sake of becoming a fabulous, elegant, respected and a truly DAZZLING woman. You learn to tell and ask how you feel and what you need. You can ask help and feel cared and loved and remember that if your needs just never match with someone no matter how open you are – we can not change other people.
At the moment you know WHO you want to be – hold on to that. Remember that in any hard situation. When you feel like complaining or blaming others ask yourself – is this who I really want to be? Is this something I can be proud of when I look my life back? and ask, how would I handle this in a way that everyone is respected? Do this a one day and one situation at the time and your life will start to change – you will change.
We are all victims – the whoever the victim you are, that person has most likely been someone else’s victim. When we can learn to let go of our stories about what happened to us we are on the edge to really change the world – it`s huge and it`s true. The way you treat yourself affects this world.
Sending you hugs and Happiness,