There’s so much talk around negative feelings and thoughts. I think too many times we are too hard to ourselves regarding having negative feelings.
Good and bad will always exist. We live in a world of opposites. It`s going to be up and down, balance and out of balance, order and out of order all the time.
I think it’s okay to have negative feelings and many of them are nothing to worry about.
I aim to accept all in me. Also the negativity in me. But i look my negative feelings with curiosity. To find out is it something i need to just forget or work to heal in me.
This wasn’t always this way, I use to be easily angry with myself of having negative feelings and that of course created more of them. Which of course were not a healthy circle to be in.
Today I want to tell you about the method of how to use your negative feelings for personal growth.
I’ve put negative feelings in these 3 categories. Looking my negative feelings, in which category they belong, makes it easy to know what to do about them.
First there’s healthy, guiding negative feelings that tells you if you need to change something. They’ve come to tell you something is not right or good for you. These are helpers that comes negative mask on, but are good for you if you listen to them.
Then there’s negative feelings that are here because of human constructions, shaped by culture and society hundreds of years. These are passengers. Thoughts and opinions about things and people in everyday life that are not even that important to you. They are coming and going and better just feel and forget. Not to give long attention to them. Just know that after all, we are humans.
There’s millions things to think, take care and look and analyze and sometimes it makes you feel annoyed, hurt or stressed out. But it`s still okay. Best thing to do is just not to give so much attention to them and especially not to act on them. Acting critical way to these you put more into them and create unnecessary pain for yourself and others. This you will master easy when you do the work according to last category: self-destructive negative feelings.
Third category is self-destructive negative feelings that are making your life a circle of drama and is messing up your life and relationships. These are the negative feelings that makes you feel worthless and believe that there’s something wrong in you. Or they can also make you feel like other people, life or a bad luck is a cause of your misery. They will prevent you from creating the life you desire!
These are the ones you need to work to get them out of your body and mind and find peace within.
These are childhood traumas and negative beliefs about yourself that you got as a child from people around you and from cultural conditioning. When you work these you will find lasting peace and realize that negative passagers and helpers are just a normal part of human life and not anything to worry about or feel guilty. Self-destructive negative feelings are very intense and they will come with a pattern. You will recognize these from the repetitive intense emotion that creates chaos in your life.
Instead of trying to avoid having negative feelings separate them to these three category and look them honestly every time you feel them. Take this as a great way to learn about yourself and amazing opportunity to help you grow as a person to someone who is no longer prisoner of her past. To find those spots you need to heal.
To start this process first accept every negative emotion you feel and take an attitude towards like you are curious to know what this feeling is telling you. Let your self feel and see what`s going on inside of you. None of these feelings are nothing to feel guilty of having. You are not your feelings, you are having feelings. Life has happened and that’s it. But now, you can start a journey towards healthy self acceptanse and wonderful love story with yourself and use your negative feelings to help you get there.