Hello, I`m Hannele behind this blog.
Nine years ago, my life went through a major turn around. I divorced from a 13-year marriage, from a relationship that had been years dysfunctional and unconscious. I had lost my self-esteem, I was in shame and deep inner pain. I had to act against one of my greatest values in life, keeping family together and I felt deeply shamed because of it.
But, at the same time, I knew I had no other option. I literally felt that I couldn’t breathe anymore, I couldn’t be myself in that relationship and I had been months in unexplained chest pain that ended immediately after the first night I slept in my first own home.
Divorce pushed me into the path of self-realization. I finally saw that I didn`t only have had a difficult relationship behind, I also had inner wounds that I had never met or taken seriously which were the cause of difficult experiences in my childhood. I was born into a family where several family members suffered from illness caused by a genetic defect and also in a family with alcoholism.
I had never learned to love myself when I grew up. I had deep feelings of unworthiness and fear of rejection. When my parents divorced my mother moved to the next town and left me and my sister to live with my father who suffered from alcoholism and 3 years later my parents decided that i would move to live with my mother to the next city. After that my father kept very little contact with me anymore. I experienced all of this like I wast the child who no one really wanted.
I met my current man year later I had been divorce and six months after that we moved to the little village in the countryside where he lived. I closed my company that I had back then, my nail-studio and started a new life with him. In two years period I lost almost all of my friends, the lifestyle which I had, my job and many family members. I had been living a very social life and suddenly I was In a new life… living in a country side with new man. I had no job, no friends in a new town either. I felt like i had been torn from my roots, everything that had been familiar in my life had changed.
Of course, my new relationship didn’t begin as a fairytale either. Were I was with myself, I wasn’t really ready to start a new relationship yet. With my love today we have overcome together big difficulties. There`s been always so much love and passion between us to carry us through it all and for the first time in my life, I have learned to love someone just as he is, with all of his flaws and imperfections. We have grown together better humans and that is more than I could ask from a relationship today.
The shift that started 9 years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me! I started the journey of healing, a journey of deep inner work and path to self- realization and it changed my life completely.
Meditation was my number one savior. Meditation has been in my life for about 4 years now and my biggest inner work has been trough meditation and I am excited to start this February meditation and relaxation instructor studies. I’m currently studying also crystal healing, doing the shadow work by Caroline Myss & Andrew Harvey and learning trauma healing.
My first profession is Youth and Leisure Instructor and I have over then years of experience as an entrepreneur. During last 9 years I`ve dive deep into to conscious living, healing my nervous system, self-development and spirituality. My latest learning experience in the area of self development has been taking a course ” Becoming Limitless” at Mindvalley. Growing, expanding my thinking and stronger my inner work is the core of who I am today.
Everything I write in my blog and Instagram is because of all that I went through stirred up in me a desire to help other women around the world to heal their past and make peace within. I want to inspire you to wake up to live a conscious life. To learn to love yourself truly in healthy, authentic way.
Life is full of miracles if you choose to go through the pain you had to experience. There`s a beautiful radiant light inside of you just waiting for you to realize it.
Sending you so much love, Hannele